Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

Hahaha, laughter and more laughter. Most of you should have either heard about this book or heard about the saying before. It's quite an old book, written about 17 years ago, which means I was only 7 years old (Primary 2). Below the heading of the cover of the book reads "A practical guide for improving communication and getting what you want in your relationships". Hopefully I do not get an email with regards to copyright infringement so I'll tactfully paraphrase what the book is trying to say in general and urge all of you, men and women, young and old, to purchase or borrow the book. It really gives one the insight of how one another thinks. Seriously, men and women, are from different planets. (I believe this book helps to make the world a better place).

(DISCLAIMER TO ALL: THIS IS WHAT I FEEL AND THINK ABOUT WHAT THE BOOK HAS TOLD ME. DO NOT TAKE IT LITERALLY AND IT DOES NOT APPLY TO EVERYONE!!!!)

So... Where do I start? Well, just to be fair, I'll flip a coin, the side of the Aussie 50 cent coin is the face of Queen Elizabeth II, so heads for girls.... Flip!!! Heads (trust me on the honesty and authenticity). So girls, ladies and women, or basically Venusians, inhabitants of Venus. What are you like? Well, to summarise, Venusians are the species that feel the need to communicate and speak to each other, in order to love and be loved. A Venusian feels that communication is an avenue to express their love to others. To not speak to a Venusian or to communicate intimately means they you do not care or love them.


Martians on the other hand, or men, enjoy getting things done, making things right, being responsible and feels the need to make things right to show their respect and love. Martians do not like to be given instructions or suggestions they feel that they do not need. If they feel something is wrong or needs to be fixed, they will sort it out on their own and will ask for advice if they can't find a way to do it. Obviously, these theories are hard to comprehend, therefore, examples are used to make easier understanding.

SCENARIO 1: Ah Beng and Ah Lian (In the book its Tom and Jane, but lets do it the Singlish style) were driving to Ah Seng's house for a party. Ah Beng obviously lost his way when he was circling Choa Chu Kang for 20 minutes. Ah Lian, being a little annoyed and never read the book "Ta Por (Men) come from Mars, Cha Bor (Women) come from Lenus (Venus)", told Ah Beng, "Eh, call Ah Seng la, dunno how to go to his house just call la, paisei/malu (embarrass) for what?" Ah Beng kept quiet and continued to drive. They eventually reached Ah Seng's house, but Ah Beng Tiam Tiam (was quiet) throughout the party and remained silent even when they reach home.

To Ah Lian, this was what she meant, "Daling ah, I lub (love) you deep deep (very much) and can see you need some help, call your friend then we will get there faster (earlier), then you don't have to be angry about getting lost". To Ah Beng, this was what she said, "Tupid (stupid), you stay in Choa Chu Kang still can get lost, just call Ah Seng lah, good for nothing (useless)".

I can see light bulbs lighting up. Basically, gentlemen do not like unsolicited advice, or advice that they do not ask for. So ladies, hold your advice, it might be love on your part, but it's insult to them. Also, when gentlemen are upset (in this case Ah Beng was pissed), they keep quiet, going to what we call a "cave". Which I will cover a little later.


SCENARIO 2: Nurul just returned from work, and had a shitty day and saw her husband Afik. She sits Afik down to tell her about her day.
Nurul, "Sayang, today very tired, I got so much work to do and no time for myself."
Afik," Then quit your job la babe, I'm earning enough what, find something you like instead."
Nurul, "Aiya, I do like my job, just that they keep changing their minds last minute on little things."
Afik,"Then do what you can do lah, don't have to listen to them."
Nurul, "I did that already, sigh... alamak, forget to call macik (aunty) today, she not feeling well."
Afik, "Don't worry, she'll understand that you didn't call."
Nurul, "But I should, I am so close to her."
Afik, "Aiya you scared what, see lah, always so negative, no wonder you always so unhappy."
Nurul: "I am not always unhappy ok!? You just don't listen to me!"
Afik, "What you talking? I'm sitting next to you listening and answering you what..."
Nurul,"Sigh, forget it."

Grins. Remember how I explained then men, when showing love, likes to fix things and offer solutions? Women do not need it. They already know what is the solution they want. They just want to talk about it. They just need you to listen and console them, no need to say so much. Seriously, just hmms, ooo, uh huhs... and the best one and every man's finishing move when talking your lady needs to talk and consolation, "Come here darling, let me give you a hug, you have had such a hard day."

Lastly, I will like to talk about "the Cave". It is a Martian thing but Venusians are greatly affected by it. As mentioned before, Venusians need to talk, Martians on the other hand need to understand that Venusians NEED to talk to feel loved. However, there are times in our lives that men need time alone to reflect. These times can include sorting out a problem or even the need to sort out his feelings. Sorting out a problem is easy because it is usually short term, like stress from work. Sorting out his feelings can take a longer time, reason because men are usually independent beings, to love a Venusian, he gives his feelings and intimacy to her, making him DEPENDENT to her. Martians are uncomfortable with that feeling, and therefore require time to sort it out. That's why women get stressed out when their men are so attentive in the beginning and suddenly seem like they lose interest.

Most of the time, men are just going to their caves to get a hold of themselves. Venusians, afraid of losing their Martians, will try to look for the Martians in the cave. This causes the Martian to runaway and go deeper. The moral of this point is to give Martians their space and give them time to come out of their caves. When a Martian is in the cave, do something else, like shopping, hanging out with friends, go to the gym etc. A Martian will enjoy this time alone and appreciate you for that. But Martians do note that you can't stay in the cave too long. Your Venusians need your attention as well.

With this I end it by quoting a few lines in the book. "Men feel motivated when needed, Women feel motivated when cherished". Go figure. :)

If Ian can cook, so can you.

For those of you who do not know by now, I love to cook! I do it for interest, love and a form of therapy when I am upset. Special thanks to my mum and sis for they spurred my cooking interest with the good foods that they have cooked and introduced to me (I, like many of you, use to only want to eat Macdonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner). Special thanks also to my two chefs in Temasek Polytechnic, Chef Jasmine and Chef Eileen. And last but not least, Fang Tai! It's the lady that cooks on TV at 4pm in the afternoons during "Huang Jing Lian Hua", she made everything look so easy, with her "shao xu" (little bit) of this and that. And suddenly I realise that all the people that inspire my culinary passion are women. And they say that the best chefs are men.

"That's my Sis on the left, and my Mum carrying Granddaughter Izzy"

Today I'm just gonna put up to recipes, one rather simple and the other a little bit troublesome to make.






Smoked Salmon on Cold Cucumber Salad.

Ingredients:
100g Smoked Salmon
1 Medium Size Cucumber
1 Tablespoon of Mayonnaise
Salt and Pepper to taste

Steps:
Using a vegetable shredder, shred cucumber into 1 inch shreds and mix it with mayonnaise and season with salt and pepper.
Put a tablespoon of cucumber salad onto a Chinese soup spoon, roll a slice of smoked salmon into a shape of a rose and place it on top the salad.
Serve cold.

Seafood Chowder (I used Fish and Mussels for this dish) - Taken from Women's Weekly cookbooks.

Ingredients:

600g boneless white fish fillets
300g mussels
50g butter
1 small leek (200g), sliced thinly
1 trimmed celery stick (75g), chopped finely
100g bacon, chopped
2 cloves garlic, crushed
1 tablespoon plain flour
3 cups of milk
3 medium potatoes (500g), cut into 1.5cm cubes
1 cup dry white wine
300ml cream
½ cup coarsely chopped flat leaf parsley
Dinner rolls to serve

Steps:

lace white fillets in a pot fill with water, bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer uncovered. About 5 minutes later, after the fish is cooked through, remove from pot and leave aside to cool.

Heat up a pot filled with water and bring it to a boil, and put mussels in. After 3 minutes and the mussels start to open up, drain the pot and leave mussels aside. Once cooled, remove mussels from their shells (unless you like to serve it with the shell on).

Heat up large pan or soup pot, melt butter and cook garlic and leek till the leeks soften. Add bacon and celery thereafter till bacon is brown and crisp.

Add wine, bring to boil, cook, stirring occasionally until wine has been reduced to a third. Add flour, stirring for about a minute and add the potato and milk, simmer uncovered for about 20 minutes or until potato is tender.

Stir in cream and add fish (break them up to 1.5 cm pieces as well) and mussels and cook till heated through and season with salt and pepper. Garnish with parsley and served with baked dinner rolls.

Oh well, as you can see, I got time here in Aussie to do stuff like that so yeah, I'll put up my recipe for Jiao Zi (Dumplings) someday, once I sort out how to make the skin. Well for those of you who think you can't cook, can always try, my first attempts, are most of the time, unsuccessful. So try and try again, and you might find some fun and joy in it.

A Story of Humilty

Ah Bang (Hairul) and I were on the way back from the Gold Coast on Sunday and were talking about upbringing. We realised that each of our parents did a good job in bringing us up. They were responsible and provided to us to what we needed. Hairul was from NPCC and I was from NCC (Air) back in secondary school, and discussed that being in a uniform group has mould our characters to what it is today. So let me tell you a little bit about my character development over my teenage life. (Oh I read the blog once through, its long, get a cup of tea or something).

Let us start by turning the clock back to 1998, almost 11 years ago, when I entered Northview Secondary School at the age of 13. In an unfamiliar environment, starting out anew and getting to know new people was rather scary. Believe it or not, I was one of the quiet ones, I kind of dread to meet new people, confidence and friendliness only built up during secondary school. Anyway, Ms Fong, my form teacher then, decided to appoint me as the class chairperson (you guys must be wondering, is he bluffing about being quiet?), and I was like, just because I'm the tallest and biggest/fattest guy in the class means I should be a chairperson? Well, I couldn't say no because I am the type that doesn't like to voice out then. This chairperson thing got my leadership and confidence thing going, I started to learn about responsibility and discipline.

"A numerously commented picture of my secondary school class"

Then came the first Saturday of school. We were all required to go to school on Saturday for CCA (Co-cirricular Activities) open house day, where all the different CCAs, sports club, musical groups, uniform groups came together and try to get us cute secondary one freshies to join them. It was compulsory for everyone to have at least one. I remembered my former CO presenting National Cadet Corps (NCC) (Air), CPT Muhammad, a fierce and scary man. He did a rather good presentation with pictures and things to do in the NCC for the next four years of my life. I thought, hmmm, not bad, but I was reluctant.

I signed up for basketball, cause I loved it in Primary school and it was a without a doubt kind of thing (I stopped going after one session cause I didn't like the coach). It was nearing the end of the CCA openhouse day and as I walked past the NCC booth, 3SG Rina (I think that's her name) gave me a huge smile and said "Come! Join NCC." Now that I thought about it, those three words got me to put my name in the box.

As I stepped into class on Monday, there were 10 people in my class who signed up for NCC! From then on, every Saturday morning was committed to NCC training. We also had to attend camps every year as we got older. The older we got, the longer the duration of the camps became. Fast foward two years later, and now we're in Secondary 3. By the middle of the year, I was a specialist (2nd Seargent/2SG) and very proud and happy to be one. Too proud I guess. Will elaborate later.

At the end of the year, the unit's officers chose five cadets from my cohort to attend the Unit Drill Instructor course. I was one of the five and indeed very happy to attend the course. Eventually we completed the course and we're all promoted to the rank of Staff Seargent/SSG. I definitely remembered who are the other four people that I attended the course with of course, Jason Khoo, Masturah, Zaid and last but not least, my bro Md Ali.

Fast foward again to the following year, Secondary 4. The officers of Northview Air Unit would have by then 2 to 3 months to decide who would become the Unit Seargent Major and the assistant. Both would have been promoted to the rank of Master Seargent. I didn't become one, whether unfortunately or fortunately, depending on one's view. I was utterly disappointed but of course I was extremely happy that Ali became the USM and Masturah was the ASM. But yeah, I had to admit, that it would have been difficult then to decide from the five of us because I believed that if not me, Zaid and Jason would have done an excellent job as well.

At the end of that very year, the graduating cadets would then have the opportunity to join the Cadet Lieutenant (CLT) Course. And it's usually reserved for the higher ranking cadets and usually they will only send two cadets per unit, I was very worried that I could not attend the course. Because at that time, there was Ali and Richard, who was my senior MSG and because he was in sec 5, graduated with my cohort. So I thought of an idea. I decided to work my ass off for my Sec 4 Prelims so that I can get a good score and my officers will consider requesting for a third cadet to attend the course. Not exactly the right motivation to do well for your O levels and prelims, but it worked eh!?

So yeah I did bloody well (I think), and I got a letter in my mailbox one day in November, informing me that I will be attending the 42nd CLT Course. I jumped and cried and laughed. My gosh, I got it! Unfortunately however, Richard didn't attend a course, for what reasons, I am not aware of at the moment. Eventually I attended the course with Ali and we became Air CLTs. At that time, there were already about 8 CLTs in Northview, so Ali and I understood that and volunteered to be CLTs in a new unit at Zhenghua Secondary School.

"Singapore Youth Festival Opening Ceremony 2004"

Ok, I know it's a long post, so you can go have a toilet break, grab another can of beer or go puff a cigarette. But we have come to the main point of the story here, the HIGHLIGHT. The reason why I wrote this post. In a Zhenghua camp (I bet Ali, you are laughing reading at this cause you know what I am going to talk about) probably in 2003, after the cadets have went to bed, I decided to ask Ali the burning question I had in my heart for many years. I asked, "Bro, I wonder why I didn't make it to being a Master Seargent..." And I think, after years of wanting to tell me, he thought the moment was right.

"Bro, the main reason why you didn't become a Master Seargent, was because you were too arrogant/cocky/proud." Ali said. (not sure of the exact words but its close to that). Too proud. I swore I was stunned when I heard that. To me, I thought I was normal you know. So I said, why didn't you tell me earlier? Why wait two years later? He told me that he couldn't find the heart to tell me and that I might end up being angry with him. Nonsense I thought, then again, sometimes, we are afraid to tell our close friends about their flaws, we are afraid that they might be angry with us.

That evening taught me two lessons. Firstly, that I was arrogant piece of crap of a person. I cried by the way, in front of Ali, asking him why didn't he told me earlier. Reflecting from it, I think the effect wouldn't have been as powerful and I might not have understood if I was told anytime earlier. I guess God felt it was time to let me know, so through Ali, got me to be a better person. From that day on, I kept my words, thoughts and actions in check. I would try not to speak too much cause I realise I tend to talk about myself a lot, so I try to ask more about others. And I stopped talking about how good I was as a person or how sucessful I have become unless if it was for a joke or to prove a point of course (Ya right).

About a year later, I was with Mdm Raps (Mama NCC) and Mr Latiff (Papa NCC) in the HOD room during one of the Northview Camps. And I decided to ask them why didn't become a Master Seargent, they looked at each quietly. But I felt bad putting them on the spot, so I offered them my answer, the answer which Ali gave me. And then they smiled at me. Probably in a relief that at last I knew and they didn't had to break it to me (Thanks Ali) kind of feeling.

Ok a little bit of bragging now, but just to prove a point. Ever since then, I've managed to achieve more and understand people better. Today I know I am lucky and blessed for the things I have today and people I know. So yeah, that is my little bit of success and shall stop bragging bout myself.

The first lesson was mainly for myself. The second lesson though is for everyone. Have a close friend that has a really bad point and it is preventing him or her to enjoy life better, to miss opportunities or make the people around them feel awkward? Well my suggestion is, break it out to them gently when you can't take it anymore or to be patient and wait for them to ask, what's wrong with me? They might be upset at first, but if they get what you mean, they will change and forever be in your debt.

"Ali is at the top left hand corner, don't have a proper picture of

him and me cause it's back home and the film type!"

Of all the lessons NCC could have taught me, leadership, discipline, honour, etc. The biggest lesson was humility. Thanks Ali, I'm forever in your debt. God Bless.

Good Friday & Easter Sunday - The Sacrifice & The Forgiveness

I'm back from Church camp! As promised, I have decided to write whatever that inspired me through the three days I was away. Like most camps, one makes new friends and get to know old ones better. The message for the camp was about Jesus Christ sacrificing himself on the cross to die for our sins and being resurrected on the third day. For my non-Christian friends whom aren't very sure what Good Friday and Easter Sunday is about, let me tell you a little about it (For your information, its not just about having a public holiday, a long weekend, finding Easter eggs and eating candy! Haha).

Good Friday is actually the day Christ died roughly two thousand years ago. In a more historical and factual context, he was captured by the Romans, brought to an unfair trial, tortured, humiliated, made to carry the cross (that is a symbol of the Christian faith today), nailed (his hands and his two feet) to the cross and left to die. To be nailed to a cross and lifted up is known as the Crucifixion.

After dying on the cross, he was brought down and his body was laid in a tomb. On Easter Sunday, he arose from his death, looked for his disciples to give them a final message and soon return to God in heaven. Oh, one important thing that you guys should know, though Jesus is the Son of God, he is actually God in human flesh. God came in the form of a man to save us and his name was Jesus.

***If you want to get a better idea of Good Friday, have a look at the movie Passion of the Christ by Mel Gibson done in 2004. ***

Now who is Jesus and where is he from? I'm afraid it is something that I have to share with you another time for he is many things and his story is filled with miracles and wonders that unless you have the heart and will to listen to it, you would think I am being outrageous! So till then, you would have to wait. Hopefully I do not have to wait till Christmas! :)

So the above story explained was in a very historical and factual context, now I am going to give you what the spiritual and religious context about this historical event. In the Christian belief, the fact that we are all here today on earth is because Adam and Eve, the first two humans created by God and in the image of himself, defied God by eating the apple from the tree of knowledge. This is what is termed as Original Sin, the first sin. From then on, we became sinners. However, in the death of Christ on the cross, he asked for forgiveness for all mankind, Christian and non-Christian, men and women, past, present and future.

This therefore became the act of ultimate sacrifice for all mankind. The most popular verse in the Bible being John 3:16 "For God so love the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whoever believes in him will not perish, but have everlasting life". The emphasis of this verse seems to be believes in him .... everlasting life. However, until this camp, I realised that "for God so love the world" means the extent of how much love God has for the world. He loved the people of the world so much that he knew he had to let his Son die to have a chance to reconnect with us.

On Easter Sunday, three days after his death, he rose from his tomb (he actually foretold his death and return though no one had enough faith to believe in him). This resurrection signifies many things, but mainly the fact that all men will die in sin, but will be reborn in Christ. We basically ascend to Heaven lah when we kick the bucket (not sure about the random Singlish). The ultimate forgiveness is therefore even when sin is committed, one can be saved as long as he repents and loves God.

Which comes finally to the lesson of the day, to forgive someone. Almost everyone of you reading this has a somebody or somebodies that you hate, can't get along, can't stand, are irritated with. I admit, there are people like that in my life and before this camp, I had no intention of getting along or reconciling with them. I guess now, I can, at least, try. I hope all of you can find the strength to do it, to forgive people that have did harmful things to you.

Forgetting, is a whole different level altogether, the common phrase and forgive and forget is a ideal concept but something extremely difficult to accomplish. Lets discuss a few personal stories so that you guys can relate. Firstly, the story of Ian and one of his best secondary school friend Shaun. Well, Shaun and I grew apart in Secondary 4 (16 years of age) as I thought he was getting arrogant and only being friends with me for benefits, it was a silly thing now that I think about it. In the end, we just suddenly stopped talking.

After getting our results for our "O" levels, he came up to me to offer a shake of a hand to reconcile. I said, "do you know what you did wrong?" He replied no and I walked away. Perhaps I should have just shake his hands, forgive him and told him why I was angry with him. But yeah, all of us should learn from experience. A few years later we met in Officer Cadet School and we started to chat up. Though we didn't talk to each other like before, at least we reconciled and there is one less person to hold a grudge against in my life.

One last message before I close this post, it is a story that Jesus told his disciple Simon in Luke 7:41-43 "Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him 500 denarii, and the other 50. Neither of them had money to pay him back, so he cancelled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?" Simon replied, "I suppose the one who had the bigger debt cancelled." "You have judged correctly," Jesus said.

He who has been forgiven much, love much, but he who has been forgiven little, loves little.

More to come... God Bless... :)

Making a Difference

A tribute to my Wing Commander in Officer Cadet School Foxtrot, LTC Ng Hee Teck, whom has left the force. I never really liked my experience in OCS because of the "wayang" that was going on but it was nonetheless a journey and an experience that thought me the meaning of making a difference.

*** A little about what I feel about my Wing Commander, since OCS is over I can say whatever good things I want about him and no one can say I am boot licking so here goes. My Wing Comd is a funny and wise man. Despite his jovial looks, he is actually a very observant person and is experienced enough to tell a person's true character. He has taught me many things and made a difference to me even though he has always teach and addressed the wing as a wing and not to me as an individual. Still I learned from him that no matter who you are, you can change things as long as you put your mind into it. Thank you Sir (Salutes).***

Most people know this story as the "The Starfish Story", and to some, it might be a totally new story that you never heard of, and to some, a story heard many years ago, and reading it again might give you some reflection.

The Starfish Story adapted from The Star Thrower by Loren Eiseley (1907 - 1977)

Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work. One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.


As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean. He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"

The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean.""I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man.To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"

At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, "I made a difference to that one!"

I believe what the author of this short but meaningful story is trying to say is that, anyone can make a difference, small or big. What you think could be small action to you but can in turn be a life changing point in someone else's life. Let's take a simple story about... me. Haha... You guys are going to love this story.

The actual and very reason why Ian was inspired to work in a hotel. Firstly, Ian wants to work in a place where there is air conditioner around but does not want to be desk bound. Options available: HOTEL. Second, but where did I thought of this option. It was none other then a very old James Lye TV series show called Season of Love or in Chinese 甜甜的季节. I would like to thank everyone for remembering it when I put it on my MSN nickname and Facebook. And special thanks to my bro Chen Chin, I got the link to watch it to recap a little (Thank you Chin, if no one had any idea, I would have been desperate enough to msg James Lye on Facebook! If that was his real account that is). http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/GhpBM1gmjdc/

What's the story about? I can't really recall, all I know is that James Lye acted as this really nice guy that climbed up the ranks of the hotel world and became a General Manager (I think). One famous quote from the film was "One day, I will walk through the front door of this hotel to work" or something like that. The essence behind this statement is that all staff has to come from the employee entrance, lest the General Manager.

So yeah, it was this show my friends, this show, that has inspired me to pursue my dreams. See what a difference James Lye and the producers of this show has done for me? I bet they didn't expect it to rub off someone, but it rubbed off on me. Maybe without that show, I would never even thought of working in a hotel. The point is, "Little did they/he know, they/he made a difference (turning point) in my life".

Many of your actions, bad or good will have an impact, big or small to another person whether that person or you realise it or not. Many of you, friends and family, has been inspirations to me, thank you very much. You have made a difference in my life because I am sure that without even just one of you, my life would be different.

I want to make a difference, a difference to the world, a difference through hospitality. I believe that if people are nicer, the world would be a better place to live in with no wars and conflicts. I know some of you out there are thinking, such a childish dream. It's true! It is a childish dreams, but weren't your dreams as a child the most innocent and most profound dream you ever had? I know in a way that the world might not be a better place, but hey, doesn't hurt to try? At least I can say I tried. Most people I know, feel upset when they do not get a grade or a job or a salary they want. But hey! At least you tried, and if you don't give up, you can continue to work towards it!

Today's story is an add on of the previous post on goals, what you do affects people and will make a difference in their lives. Don't ask what difference it makes, pick up that starfish on the beach and throw it into the sea, make a difference to that starfish. Make a difference today. God Bless.

Success and Goals in Life

Goals, goals, goals. Today, I want to talk about goals. About ambition, about accomplishing something in life. Today I want to write about, YOU. Before I write about YOU (my friends and family), I'm going to write about me first. The first part consists of my goals, and how I gave a speech a few years back. The thought is triggered as I just had lunch with Xiaoying and I was bragging about myself during the whole conversation, Sorry Xiaoying! It's not a short post so grab a coffee or a beer (S3/Boss/Matt) if you are going to read it.



Firstly, as most of you should know, I am in the hotel industry and ferociously passionate about it. Half of my conversations would have a relation to hospitality. My ultimate end road/goal is to be... *TOP SECRET*, shall not expose it for now cause it might come to everyone as a shock, but definitely, absolutely, a hundred thousand percent, to be more than a Hotel's General Manager (Awww... perhaps I might reveal it in future posts, for now, for people who do know, please do not put it up, thank you).




About 4 years ago, I was invited by my Alma Mater, Northview Secondary School to give a speech for their graduating students. This honour was usually reserved for the top academic graduates from my school, and seriously, friends, why would they ask me!? (I'm not a model of academically inclined students, just a little street smart) I was therefore extremely honoured and shocked to be invited for this event. I reckoned though its because of my commitment to National Cadet Corps (Air) and through the recommendation of my NCC Mummy and Daddy, Mdm Raps and Mr Latiff, for me to be even considered.



A little bit about Northview Secondary School, not the best of all secondary schools in Yishun and not even one of my six choices from back in primary school. I think my Dad got a beating (scolding I mean) by a lot of the relatives including my Mum because back in the days of my Dad, his brothers and my Grandfather, most of them were sent to Anglo Chinese School (ACS). Being traditionally Methodist. So it was the same for most of my cousins on my Dad's side, even my sister went to Paya Lebar Methodist Girls School. Who knows what would have happened to me if that happened? An alternate dimension perhaps.



Oh yes, side tracked a bit, back to Northview. So that is the place where I became an NCC cadet at first, a Prefect/Counsellor, an NCC cadet Seargent. It is also the place where I decided I will go to the Hospitality path. I remembered clearly during a class in Secondary 3, Mrs Chan, then Ms Tan, gave us a book on career guidance for all of us. Turning to the section Concierge, I felt an immediate attraction to it. From then on, I was aware of my goal of working in a hotel. It is only during my industrial attachment in poly that I have decided to be a General Manager.



After graduating from Temasek Polytechnic with my Diploma in Hospitality Management, I was invited by my secondary school to give the speech I have mentioned. During that time I have learned a lot about myself and was very clear of what I want to do. I remember having conversations with Shuhui about goals in life as she wasn't sure and she knew that I did. I explained that I am very lucky to already know my goals in life. This therefore became the very topic of my speech.



My speech was about realising and achieving one's goal in life. At the age of 16 or 17, most of them might not have found out what some people take their whole life to find. A very lucky few, such as myself, knew from a young age (15) of what I wanted my life to be. The most important thing about a goal is not the size of it, meaning, I must be the Owner of a Multi-national Company or I must be disgustingly rich. Success is not measured by the world's measure of success, but by your own measure. You are only as successful as you think you set yourself to be.



Just because someone is happy being the world's richest man, doesn't mean that if you are the richest man, you will be happy. We are all made differently. If a person's goal is to have a wonderful and wholesome family and does have one, that person is as successful the world's richest man (if that was his goal). If you feel that being a road sweeper to ensure that the roads are clean and if you feel good making roads and pathways clean, aren't you successful in your goal in life?



What I'm saying is not to lower your expectations and dreams in life, what I'm saying is that you needs find what you really want, if you think financial stability is what you want, seek it. If you think living a life serving God is what you want, go for it. If you think that you want to make the world a better place, do it, be the change you want in the world. Set success to your own standards, not others, because they do not live your life, you live it. As long as it's work that is not harmful to society and to the world, you can be and can do anything you want.



Perhaps what I am trying to write now is to inspire everyone, that a person like me, whom didn't do that well in school (academically) can find success in modern Singapore. I guess it's because I have answered the question of what I want to do in my life. I hope you find the answer to your life as well.



Don't let the world stop you. If you really think that you should be doing something else, do it, don't waste anymore time, you only live once! God Bless.